Why I find it difficult to take time out for me!

There are no easy 1,2,3's of why it is so difficult for me to spend time on myself. I can echo the usual responses of: I'm too busy. There is too much to do. Other's are expecting me to perform, to produce. These can all be true. Maybe it is unique to women, but I think not. I believe we all have difficulty taking time for ourselves because we feel it might be considered selfish.

From our young days we were instructed to "not be selfish". (thinking only of self). Children don't seem to have a problem with thinking of themselves first and foremost, this comes naturally. Until the instruction from adults come and interrupt their worlds. Teaching how to put others first. I think maybe we are cautioned so much to think of others, that thinking of ourselves becomes a "no-no".

For those who struggle with perfectionism, and doing things "right", taking time for oneself is usually considered "selfish". Of course, this is not true. But if perfectionism is a challenge that you face, then accurate thinking is already being distorted by your need for the highest standard attainable. One of the problem's with this standard is, it can never be reached. , Even if one tried to their utmost, they would still fall short, because in their mind, perfect is really never attainable. It is like a mystical place. It cannot be fully realized. It is a mirage of the mind.

So how does one settle the argument of selfish versus self-care? For me, this continues to be a life long learning experience because I am a "recovering perfectionist". I'm continually "tripped" up by the enemy who would deceive me into thinking that I must not give myself one iota of a thought, for that would be selfish. The truth however, is that I am LOVED with an abiding, unchangeable, unimaginable love. God loves me so much and is constantly thinking about me;(Psalm 139: 17-18 NLT). He desires that I walk in truth and not deceit;(3 John 1:4 NLT). He desires that I spend time with him;(Song of Solomon 7:10 NIV.) He wants me to care for my body;(1 Cor. 6:19-20 NLT). He desires for me to rest;(Heb.4:10 NLT). And the LOVE list goes on.

I'm continually learning how to practice self-care each and every day. One of the ways of taking care of myself, is taking time out for me. Actually, "scheduling", me time. Listening to the Holy Spirit whisper to my soul. That is where I always need to start, and then find things that restore my spirit, mind and body. The Spirit reminds me of who I am in Christ. The unique OOAK person I am. He brings to mind things that I enjoy, or that refresh. Joy filled things. I am on treasure hunt of JOY!

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What I Love To Do that Feeds My Soul

I love to be outdoors. Walking along the ocean. Breathing deeply. Smelling the salty air. Filling my lungs. Slowly inhaling and savoring the exhale. The smell, along with a few deep breaths and my soul is beginning to soar.

Slowing down is necessary for my soul to be refreshed. Listening to the rhythm of the waves, allows the gradual slowing of my own heartbeat. YHWH. The inhale and exhale. The sound of breathing. "The holiest name in the world, the Name of Creator, is the sound of your own breathing..." (Rabbi Lawrence Kushner)

It is then, after my breathing has begun to sync with the wave patterns, my mind begins to think about the "majestic power" that created all of this beauty. God spoke all of this into existence. Genesis 1:9-10. How awesome is that! My God, The Creator God, who spoke the world into existence wants to be with me. Communing with me. Sometimes I find it "easier" to listen when my soul has been quieted and refreshed by His creation.

I also love to create with my hands. The process of thinking, designing, and then creating is what can energize my soul. I feel so blessed to be able to now "create" as part of my soul needs, as well as financial needs for my family. Psalm 90:17. Thank you God for the opportunities to participate in Your creative nature, by aligning my soul with Yours, to CREATE.

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Create

My word for 2014 is CREATE! I am hoping, dreaming and planning on spending more time creating, and not just doing.

Often, I get caught up in the "doing" of life. There are so many things that need to be done. Chores, responsibilities; you know, The "Should's" of life. I "should" clean house. I "should" pull weeds. I "should" do laundry. And the list can go on and on, until the creative soul inside begins to shrivel up and become dormant.

This year, I would like to release the creative spirit in me. I want to see where it soars, where it will fly! When released, where will my spirit lead me. I want to go beyond the "Should's". Is it possible that I can create something that I've never done before?

My artist soul is longing. Maybe this isn't the year for some big, great, revelation. But it is the year that I am stepping forward with intention to CREATE more. To see what my heart and my hands can form, when they work together in harmony.

Thanks for allowing me to share a peek inside of who I am.

The Creative Journey begins~